Needs vs Expectations

Until recently, I have confused what I needed to do with what I had to do.

Just that sentence alone should send you into a whirl.

This is what I mean. What I have to do or rather what I as a responsible adult should do is:

be productive

be social

be healthy

be emotionally stable

These are all traits that are expected of me as a stable adult from...society as a whole, as I understand it anyway. Anything that is different is well, different, odd and generally "other." And so with the understanding that if I falter in any of these responsible adult traits, I somehow will be less than. So, these things go from actions I have to do, to actions I need to do. So instead of having to be productive, I need to be productive.

Why need? Why do these things go from actions that you can choose to do to make you happier, rather than actions you absolutely need to do be a balanced or "normal" person.

Everything I have needed to do, like eat breakfast, I have put aside for something I had to do. Like go to work.

It is the small things that make you happy. It is also unfortunately the small things that get cast aside to make way for the things that "matter."

So here is my log to the road of happiness and personal fulfillment. I will take small steps to creating habits and routines that can help build my mental health and bring me in to the present.

Some of these practices will not work. I am going in to this experiment with an open mind, but also a practical one. Not everything I try will work or me. But I will try anything that appeals to me as something that brings me joy.

#selfcare #selfdiscovery #joy #care #balance #happiness